Outside Omens

Katie looked at them skeptically. It was a good thing the 80s were fashionable again... Because miniskirts? Honestly. She probably wanted black leather, too, the hussy.

She looked at Ellie first. "If madam would care to share the details of madam's size, and madam's colour preferences, I should be pleased to," her brow wrinkled in thought, "... appropriate the, um, appropriate skirt for vous."

One of the other salesgirls had a French accent and got a lot more tips than Katie did, so she thought she'd give it a try. She turned to Sphix.

"And we have any number of red dresses, madam. The look this spring is sleeveless, belted, and knee-length with a fuller skirt. Would other madam care to share other madam's size and dress preferences with moi?"

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"Are you trying to be funny?" Sphix looked Katie up and down and sneered. "I guess you are, aren't you? Well, I'll tell you something. I did not come here to be amused. I want something to wear, and dinner after that, and you would better wish I don't get hungry while I'm still here." The saleswoman didn't look particularly appetizing, but if she was hungry and irritated enough, anything would do.

"Now, find me something that is long. And let me worry about the size."

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Ellie (who happened to know that hemlines were all over the place this season, thank you very much) smiled and shrugged noncommittally at the girl, as though to say I'd listen to her if I were you, and turned to browse a display of cute blouses while the Sphinx was attended to. She didn't particularly need help anyway, and watching from the corner of her eye as the ancient creature commanded her new minion was amusing. She wondered what Katie would do if she knew that not only her next commission, but also her possible fate as an appetizer was riding on how well she handled this customer. Not that Ellie really thought the Sphinx would eat the girl in public, but there were the dressing rooms...

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Katie blinked, unimpressed at the threat. She had rich women insulting her and ordering her around all day long and she generally got her revenge. So if this one wanted to look like a slag, what did Katie care? She quickly slipped into the department to collect four (http://www.fashiondig.com/shop/detail.asp?ItemMasterID=15341&ItemID=29234) long (http://cgi.ebay.com/New-Positive-ATTITUDE-Long-Red-Dress-Jacket-Outfit-14_W0QQitemZ160107933692QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting) red (http://www.johanna-hehir.com/images/stock/jh815cl.jpg) dresses (http://www.hotfash.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=105&DC=nxtg&gad=CKLsltECEghxJdKSPIo20RjpgL__AyDSwu4j) in different styles. And if they ranged in size from 0 to 18, well, that wasn't her fault.

"If madam would care to try these on, the ladies' fitting rooms are just over there." She pointed to the far wall, hoping Sphix would go.

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Sphix snatched the dresses from Katie and inspected them critically. The first one she dismissed as too frilly, but the other three did seem promising. Whether they would fit or not was another matter, though, and she gave the saleswoman a long stare...

"Trying them on? Now? I think not", the sphinx said. "You are trying to fool with me, aren't you? Take this one back, and show me where you got the others. I'll pick the ones I try on myself."

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Staring incredulously at the imperious woman, not that she'd know either of those words, Katie left the dresses at the counter to be rehung later and led Sphix to the racks containing the others. As if they weren't totally obvious due to the fact that they had long red dresses on them. Just why the ugly woman had to try on these instead of those, Katie couldn't figure, but her job was demeaning enough that she didn't question it.

"Does madam see anything more suitable?" she asked, bored.

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Sphinx fingered the clothes, taking out some to see if they were of the right size. She had never got a very good hang of the size tags; they tended to vary by country, anyway. When she had something that seemed like it would actually fit, she gave the saleswoman a self-satisfied smile.

"Yes, I did", she answered the question, "And while I am trying these on, you may go and find me a jacket. Make sure it is cream or gold."

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Katie disappeared to do as she was told. She had to go into the Women's Department (read: Old Ladies) to find cream (http://www.designerexposure.com/images/products/21614_1_large.jpg) and (http://www.back-in-style.com/files/mondi-cream-gold-brocade-jacket-2.jpg) gold (http://lulusvintage.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/isadorasequinshrug.jpg) jackets (http://www.sisterswing.com/Dresses/Paula/1GoldJacket.jpg), none of which were particularly appropriate matches with long, red dresses, but were all really expensive. She thought she deserved a decent commission for having to deal with such a bitch.

She brought them to the dressing room and called out, "Would madam like to see the jackets I collected for her?"

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Sphix had been trying on one of the dresses. This one she liked. She adjusted the shoulder strap better and smiled at her image. Oh, yes. This one would do perfectly.

Then Katie arrived, and suddenly she had to inspect a number of jackets. She took them, one by one, and placed them on a chair. Most of them weren't exactly what she had had in mind, but she would deal with that later.

"These will do, for now. Next I want you to find me some trousers or skirts to go with them. And try to make them... I bit less shiny."

After she had given her instruction, the sphinx strode out of the dressing room and tried to catch sight of Chantinelle. When she finally located the demoness she grinned and headed towards her new pride sister.

"Well? What do you think?" she asked, turning slightly so that Ellie would see the dress better.

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Ellie turned from the rack she was examining and looked the Sphinx up and down critically. "Cute," she finally pronounced. "Very classic. And the color suits you. Pair it with the right pumps and you'll be knocking them dead. --Metaphorically speaking." She nodded in the salesgirl's direction, dropping her voice slightly. "Little Miss Sunshine making herself useful? She appears to be somewhat lacking in cranial capacity..."

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Sphix was ready to sneer at the word 'cute', but then the rest of Ellies words registered, and her expression turned into a smile. "Classical, as it happens, was just what I was aiming for. And pumps, you think? We'll head to the shoes section next, then. As soon as we have finished our business here." The sphinx turned to look at the salesgirl, too. "She isn't so useful that anyone would miss her would she just... disappear", she said. "And, as you pointed out, riddling her would be hardly a challenge. So do tell me, Chantinelle... What would you do if you wanted to get rid of her? Rather... permanently?"

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Ellie looked at the Sphinx askance. Assassinations weren't really her forte. Which wasn't to say she scrupled at the occasional bit of casual wiling even if she was technically retured, now. "Me? I'd assume Incubus form and get her arrested for performing lewd acts in public. I scarcely think she's worth so much bother, though. I'd have more fun just playing with her head."

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"And you don't think that would be too easy?" Sphix narrowed her eyes, thinking. "Although even an easy victory is still a victory..." And victory, as far as she was concerned, was always satisfying. Even when it might not result in someone's death.

"Very well. Did you have anything in mind?" She had some ideas herself, but they mostly involved asking riddles, and as amusing as that was, it was a rather solitary business.

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"Hmm, nothing specific," Ellie mused, thinking. She'd come here planning to shop, not play tricks, but it had been a while and the poor creature was so very ripe for it...

After a moment's contemplation, her lips curved into a wicked, sultry smile, and she turned as the salegirl came back, putting herself at an angle to be easily observed. She leaned in toward Sphix conspiratorially and whispered, "Act as though I've just said something extremely amusing at the girl's expense," and then she quickly clapped a hand over her mouth and giggled.

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Holding a random collection of trousers and skirts in various colours, styles, and sizes (if madam wasn't going to be more specific...) Katie approached the two women a little suspiciously.

Slutty cows.

"I brought some trousers and skirts as madam requested," she said, her smile more false than ever.

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"Amusing?" Sphix asked, but then the saleswoman was already at sight, so the sphinx had no other option but to trust Chantinelle and play along. She called a smile on her face - that was easy, she had planty of them - and did her best attempt of amused laugh, even though giggling was really not something she tried very often.

She had to stifle her laugh to speak, though. "So I see", Sphix said, with a quick glance towards Ellie. She wasn't sure of what her friend was planning to do, exactly, and she didn't want to mess up her plan. Not this time, anyway.

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Ellie cleared her throat hastily and smiled at the salesgirl with poisonous sweetness. "Thanks, honey. Say, who does your hair? I've never seen anything...quite like it."

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"My... hair?" repeated Katie faintly. She shifted the bundle of clothes in her arms in order to reach up and touch it. The hos were laughing at her hair?

For the first time, the girl's face showed some genuine emotion. Puzzled and a little hurt, she said, "My friend Stacy does it. She went to beauty college."

Stacy had assured her that Mr. Crowley would love it - assuming he ever came back - even if he was gay. Especially if he was gay, really. Katie didn't quite know what that meant, but she went with it.

Looking at Ellie, she added snidely, "Does madam wish for her telephone number...?"

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In point of fact, the girl's hair looked perfectly fine, and Ellie might have relented and actually asked for the number if it hadn't been for the snotty tone of the response. "No, that's quite all right," she said coolly, whisking the pile of clothes neatly out of the girl's arms. "Be a dear and see if you can't find a few minis in my size, won't you? I wear an 8." Which hadn't quite been true a moment before--she usually preferred a slightly curvier look--but it was now, specifically because she was certain Katie wore a 10.

Turning her back dismissively on the girl, she scanned the area for other customers as she laid the skirts out along with the other clothes the Sphinx had yet to try on.

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Katie did wear a 10, so after her flat, "Yes, madam," she turned back to her department and made a face. Then she wandered off to look for miniskirts, choosing the ugliest and most expensive she could find. Mrs. Anderson couldn't get angry with her for doing was the customer asked, right?

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"That could have been more satisfactory", the sphinx commented, quietly. "But that's the problem with the more... indirect approach, is it not? It takes time to see the results." Playing like that could be fun, though. If one had nothing else to do.

"So, are we going to continue this act, or shall I go to try the clothes?" Sphix nodded towards the pile. "Those that are something I can actually wear, anyway."

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"Oh, I'm pretty satisfied," Ellie said serenely. "She'll fume all day, lose herself a few commissions by snarking at other thin customers, then go home and pick a fight with her boyfriend and maybe go on some crazy fad diet that will do nobody but Famine any good." She started picking through the stack of clothes. "Go ahead and try some of them on. I'll keep myself entertained..."

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"But we won't be able to see her do any of that", the sphinx complained. "And when has just knowing been anywhere as amusing?" She considered suggesting that they would follow the salesgirl when she went home, ambush her, scare her a little. But they were here for shopping, she reminded herself. It was better not to get carried away.

"I'll be in the dressing room, in case you need my opinion on anything", Sphix said and was off.

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Katie returned with an armful of miniskirts in all materials and patterns from the ultra slutty to the terminally tacky and mostly from designers who tended to size too large so that their vain clients would feel thin wearing a size smaller than normal. Of course, that meant Ellie would be swimming in a size 8 because it was actually a size 10. They all said 8 on the tag, though, and that was the important thing. Especially for those few size 4s that she switched tags on...

"Miniskirts, madam."

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"Thank you," Ellie said haughtily, taking the armload from the girl and nodding across the sales floor. "I believe you've got another customer waiting..."

The young man she'd spotted eyeing a rack full of lingerie would provide a splendid diversion--she could sense thoughts of his sweetheart drifting across the surface of his mind, and with a subtle nudge, pushed his thoughts toward that phrase most dreaded by any salesgirl in any clothing store: Well, I think she's about your size...

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