outside_omens | (no subject)

Date: May 3, 2000
Setting: An Unnamed Pub in London
Status: Semi-Private (John and Pestilence - Complete)
Summary: A chance meeting between two strange customers in an out-of-the-way London watering hole. (Odd Couples Challenge thread)

It wasn't one of his usual haunts. John rarely frequented this section of town, for a variety of reasons that were not important, but he'd chosen this particular pub for two very significant reasons: it was in a part of London which he had discovered, by trial and error, he remembered fairly well; and it wasn't someplace where he was likely to run into any casual acquaintances he might or might not recognize or be able to name. This was the first time he'd ventured far from the Manor by himself since the Belfast incident, and he'd planned it very carefully to avoid anything that might trigger another attack like the one that had brought him to a screeching halt the day of the shopping trip.

So far, everything seemed to be going fine. He'd found his way to the place with no problems, the food was good, the beer was palatable, and the atmosphere was friendly and comfortably homey. Nobody had bothered him, and here he found it possible to relax and enjoy his drink and think about nothing special, which seemed to be what his beleaguered psyche liked best to do lately. It served up some rather peculiar free-associations, yes, but as long as he wasn't trying to direct them anywhere in particular or repress the less pleasant ones too much, this didn't cause him any trouble.

He took no real notice, at first, when a group seated near the door began coughing and sneezing rather dramatically. It was the time of year for that sort of thing, after all...

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John wiped his eyes once more and nodded. "Much obliged. Name's John," he corrected. "Constantine. You'd be one of Adam's crowd then? Deity, demon or Horsebloke? Just so I know what subjects to avoid." He grinned lopsidedly.

Pestilence let out a little laugh. "Horsebloke," he giggled. "I like that. Maybe I'll change my business card." Turning briefly to the bartender he ordered a bottle of Tequilla. He loved the stuff, not only because the agave was toxic to living organisms, but also because of the floating worm in the bottom. Made him remember the good old days when pratically everyone had parasites.

"Yes, I remember you now. Saw you briefly at the Halloween party," he said, pouring some liquor into his glass, then offering some to John. At Constantine's hesitation, he waved his hand. "Its clean, I promise. Or as clean as alcohol can get. No 'additives,' if you will. Once I know someone, I have a hell of a time making them sick. Its really bad for business, I can tell you."

"'zat so? Christ, wish I'd met you ten years ago then," John said wryly, tossing back what was left of his drink and allowing Pestilence to refill his glass. "That mean I don't have to worry about this stuff pickling my liver? Or would that be more your protege's department?" He knew who he was dealing with now, and even without the Horseman's reassurance, he wouldn't have been too worried. He'd pulled one memorable end run around the old boy already.

Pestilence smiled after he downed his first glass. "Oh, no, you can still get cirrohsis, but no parasites," Pestilence refilled his glass, indicating with his glass John's torso. "Seems like you've been through the ringer. Let me see,"

Much to John's dismay, Pestilence leaned forward, practically burying his head in John's lap. He sniffed once. Twice. Three times. He leaned back up with a satisfied look on his face before John could even manage to protest. "Mmmm, lung cancer, mental health issues, several severe beatings, impending inflamed prostate, electroshock therapy...and those are just the high lights. Can I tell you how nice it is to meet you tonight? I was in need of a pick-me-up."

John almost jumped out of his seat at the invasion of his personal space, but by the time he'd decided between that and clocking the creature over the back of the head with the tequila bottle, Pestilence had backed off.

"Little warning next time?" he said through his teeth, none too pleased at the casual recitation, dead-on accurate as it was. "The prostate thing runs in the family, the cancer's been dealt with and the rest are occupational hazards. Anything else you'd like to know while you're at it?"

He dug out his cigarettes and lit one with abbreviated, angry motions, thoroughly disgruntled. Everybody and their brother seemed to be privy to his personal information these days. "Christ, mebbe I should just print up a fucking pamphlet and pass it around..."

Pestilence giggled again. He had used that as a party trick on occaison, and had always been greeted with similarly disgusted reactions. Too bad for the humans. It tickled him.

"Sorry," he said amidst giggles. He poured John another glass by way of apology. "Haven't you ever used your powers to shock someone? Admit it. Its fun. And anyways, half of that stuff is past and the other isn't for a long time. No hard feelings, I hope."

John stared at the personification blankly. No hard feelings?

What the hell was he supposed to say to a guy who'd just sniffed him like an excessively interested dog and then blown off the fact that he'd been responsible (all right, indirectly and in a strictly professional capacity, but still) for putting John in a situation that had forced him to choose between going to Hell now or later? Never mind all the billions of other people who'd suffered unspeakable torment and death as a result of the Horseman's work over the centuries.

John had met a lot of bizarre and surreal immortal types in his day, but even he wasn't so jaded that he could take a conversation like this completely in stride. "Powers? Sorry, guv, you're barking up the wrong tree there. Not that I don't enjoy ruffling feathers whenever possible, mind, but I generally have to do it the hard way."

He picked up his glass and slammed the tequila back. "And call me a wet blanket," he added grimly and a litle hoarsely, "but reminding people they're gonna be extinct someday isn't exactly my idea of a jolly old time. Strikes a bit too close to home, know what I mean?" He snorted. "Nah, of course you don't. Well, never mind. We all do what we're made for, I s'pose. If you believe in that sort of thing."