Raphael looked at him but made no move to come nearer or to touch him. He looked Michael in the eye and felt his heart beating wildly. With hardly a thought he stilled it.

He had to do it.

"Yes Michael. I have a lot to tell you. I don't want you to blame yourself because it was not your fault, it was mine entirely. I will be quick but just let me say what I have to say.

I have lied, cheated, deceived, manipulated and utterly abused you.

I lusted after your body and did not love you when I told you I did. I did this because I knew you wanted to love me and thought that you would be easy to fool - I disdained you too. At the time I was worried about being Felled for my loathing and agression towards Pestilence; that at least was genuine. You were the perfect bodyguard..." He swallowed. "The perfect meatshield. And when it fit my purposes and my mood, I manipulated you into fighting as with Crowley.

All my words, my touches, my caresses were lies. Every sign of affection I showed was simply to protect myself. And even when I felt guilty, I pushed that away and blamed you for being naive.

I see now that I've been the wrong one, the cruel one. You waste your love on a shoddy, inferior creature who does not deserve it. You were what an angel ought to be - kind, loving and forgiving, if perhaps a bit too trusting. I took advantage of that and debased myself.

It can't go on Michael. So I want you to... to stay away from me. I've done awful things and I know that I will likely reap what filth I have sown. I don't want you to be part of that. I don't want you to suffer for the things I've done wrong.

Forget me as much as you can and do not involve yourself with me. I know it will hurt - but it's for the best."

Somehow his eyes were miraculously dry but he felt terrified beyond belief. It was too late, there could be no going back now.

He knew.