Ellie rested one hand in her chin, regarding the angel with an unreadable expression. "Of course you don't believe it. But we're not talking about a rational fear here. He's got abandonment issues--a lot of us do." It wasn't the easiest thing to talk about, even after all this time, but she tried not to sound too bitter. "It's easy to trust when you feel secure in His grace. I remember. None of us would have believed before the Fall that He would judge us the way He did; we couldn't even have imagined it was possible."

She shut her eyes briefly against the memory. Knowing that the Fallen had brought about their own damnation, and that it was all part of His big Plan, did nothing to lessen that sense of betrayal. They hadn't been deemed worthy of even an explanation for the severity or the permanence of their punishment. "And none of us thought afterward that it would ever be possible to trust again. Most still don't. They lost too much the first time, they aren't going to risk what's left.

"So yeah, Crowley's staying away. He's protecting himself. I'd probably do the same thing in his place." Tali hadn't lived long enough for them to have a first fight, but it probably would have happened sooner or later. "I think you're right, though; you two need each other. But I must warn you, Aziraphale dear...even if he does come to trust you again, that fear is never going to go away. Accepting Crowley means accepting that part of him, too."